The Opid

I recently received my first performance related bonus at work. I was harassing my bosses for quite a while about needing an Ipod for all kinds of work related things, and they eventually agreed that they would get me an MP3 player if I could get 70% of our clients into work within 5 weeks. Eventually we got 80% of clients into work within 6 weeks, and I was presented with..... THE OPID.

The Opid is, I suspect, China's answer to the Ipod. One of it's most excellent features is the manual, which has apparently been translated into English by someone who has never spoken/read English before in their life.

So my new debate is this, which of the following 2 phrases seems least relevant to someone seeking guidance on how to use an MP3 player?

The format chemical engineering see first have, the choice" cent area and encrypt" options

OR

The knife man - impulsive punishment:Broadcast the level is smooth to roll over.

I wish I could provide some context for either of those phrases, but the rest of the manual makes no more sense.

of beavers and woodpeckers

Today we asked the big questions, the ones that really get people thinking...

Our big question was inspired by a tree growing in front of Blue Coat school, that turns a potentially very picturesque view into one that frankly isn't. I postulated that perhaps we could hire a dozen beavers to come and take it down. Then came THE question:

Would 12 beavers knock down a tree faster than 100 woodpeckers could?

This question has been taxing such eminent minds as Richard Williams, Thomas Magnum, Stephanie Gillette and KC Clark. So far... we don't know. My money is on the beavers, with their razor sharp teeth and good team working ethic.

What do you think?

Alpacas

Today I was reminded that I am the king of blagging. Ask me almost any question and I'll come back with an answer that sounds as though I know what I'm talking about. And some of the time I even do. I also do an excellent line in a combination of luck and guesswork.

So yesterday I was having lunch with Ken, Midders and Beko and the conversation came onto the topic of how Bethanie Amey smelled a bit like a damp Alpaca after her time in Argentina. We then tried to work out what an Alpaca actually is.

"I'm pretty sure the Alpaca is a member of the camel family" say I with typical confidence, to which the instant reply "you're completely blagging that" comes back.

And they were right. Ha, but so was I :-) The Alpaca is indeed a member of the camel family, the camelidae as we discovered this afternoon on Wikipedia.

And so, I am the king of blagging. (Oh and I once read somewhere that the llama is a member of the camel family so took a chance that the alpaca was also in the same family)

Liverpool and perseverance

Right now I'm feeling pretty annoyed about Liverpool. I fixed a slow puncture in my front tyre this evening which was probably coming from one of the half dozen or so puncture repair patches which were adorning the inner tube. The cunning solution was to replace the inner tube, and to my great joy I successfully completed my journey to housegroup this evening.

However as I had nearly reached our house on my return journey I became aware that my rear tyre was becoming rather bouncy, the classic puncture sign. So yes, I had managed to now get a puncture in my other tyre the same evening I had fixed one, which left me feeling just incredibly frustrated. It things like this that make me want one of two things. 1 is a car or 2 is to go and live somewhere the streets aren't paved with broken glass. Right now I'd prefer 2.

Anyway the whole thing has reminded me of a conversation that I had with Jack and Tom about perseverance on Saturday. I think my view of perseverance normally would go something along the lines of "I'd really enjoy cycling in Liverpool if it wasn't for all the broken glass and things that make it an annoying experience". Naturally I enjoy cycling and would do it but there are specific things that prevent me from doing so.

I think I feel the same way often about my spiritual life, that I could be quite a good Christian if there weren't all these external distractions that lead me away from God, that if I was left to my own purposes I would naturally follow the path that God has set out for me.

Then I remember that "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jer 17:9)

Also "And he said 'What comes out of person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and they defile a person.'" (Mark 7:20-23)

Naturally I'm not going to follow the path that God has set before me, because naturally I'm lazy and sinful and often both. So in our discussion we were reflecting on a different view of perseverance. Not so much continuing despite continual external pressure but persevering in making the decisions that will keep us on God's path. Persevering in submitting to the Holy Spirit, perservering in reading the Bible, perservering in praying, perservering in making wise decisions like going to bed at a sensible time.

In conclusion the image in my mind is not so much the constant battle with punctures but a different image. I imagine what I'd be like if I had a car. I would know that cycling was better for me, cheaper, often quicker in rush hour and yet my natural tendency would be to drive, puncture or no puncture. And on that note I'm going to head off, try and get an early night so I can wake up and fix my bike :-)

Kite Fun

Daniel

Ok, another long time, no post.

This is more of a prayer request than a post. It's about one of the guys involved in youth church. He's made a commitment to follow Christ but comes from a family who have no involvement in church. He has no real Christian friends. He's in a hard place. All of his mates have no interest really in knowing God, and he's under pressure to conform to their patterns of behaviour. We see the battle in his life, and we know there's little more we can do than pray.

Apart from Sunday morning and Kids Club on a Wednesday night he's getting no input. It's in no way a perfect analogy but he makes me think of Daniel, living in a foreign land with those who worship foreign Gods. My prayer is that he will be like Daniel, that he will make a stand for the one true God, and that he will find some Christian friends, a Shadrach, a Meshach, an Abednego who will stand with him. If you have time please remember him in your prayers.