War and Peace

Hear the words I sing,
War's a horrid thing,
But still I sing, sing, sing,
Ding a ling a ling.
by Private S Baldrick

Joan of Arc
Got up in the dark
And put her foot in the Po
Oh bugger she said
Connecting with the bed
Dislocating her big toe
How can I lead France
When I lead such a dance?
Her tears were beginning to flow
To hell with le Brits
They're all a lot of shits
So now we'll give them a go
So she led the French Army
Half of whom were barmy
Then a terrible blow
How was she to know
The Brits beat the frogs
Who got stuck in the bogs
Joan's end was dire
The Brits set her on fire
by Spike Milligan