The Corridors of Power, MK1
General: Leaps tall buildings with a single bound. More powerful than a steam engine, faster than a speeding bullet. Gives policy to GOD.
Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a single bound. More powerful than a shunting engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water (if the sea is calm). Talks with GOD.
Lt.-Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds. Is almost as powerful as a speeding bullet. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools. Talks with GOD if special request is approved.
Major: Barely clears a Nissen hut. Loses tug-of-war with a steam engine. Can fire a speeding bullet and swims well. Is occasionally addressed by GOD.
Captain: Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings. Is run over by trains. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury. Dog paddles, talks to animals.
Lieutenant: Runs into tall buildings. Recognises trains two out of three times. Is not issued with ammunition. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a lifejacket. Talks to walls.
2nd Lieutenant: Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter buildings. Says, "Look at Choo Choo." Is NEVER issued with a gun or ammunition. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself.
Sgt. Major: Lifts tall buildings and walks under them. Kicks steam trains off the tracks. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance . . . HE IS GOD!
Sorry it's long, but it makes me laugh a lot. It's also part of a continuing Spike Milligan tribute, a very funny man, even if he didn't actually write this himself, I found it one of his books.
posted by Andy @ 12:40 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Spike Milligan is still brilliant to this day. Very few have matched his talent in humour.
If you haven't read "My part in Hilters Downfall" then you're missing out on a wonderful read.
There aren't to many defence personnel in the world at one time or another who haven't had a good chuckle over his Corridors of Power insert into this book and how true the description still is in some quarters today.
Having just seen on TV news the unveiling of a seat dedicated to the now late, great Spike Milligan in North Finchley, it reminded me that I've been meaning to look up 'The Corridors Of Power', which I have now done, here. I also noticed that you commented that although you knew that it was included in his 3rd war biography, Mussolini, His Part In My Downfall, Spike didn't actually write it, if I recall correctly from when I read it, he came across it in a 1943 edition of a British Forces magazine, -still in circulation when I was serving in Army in late 70's early 80's- The Union Jack, liked it so much (too) so cribbed it!
Having just seen on TV news the unveiling of a seat dedicated to the now late, great Spike Milligan in North Finchley, it reminded me that I've been meaning to look up 'The Corridors Of Power', which I have now done, here. I also noticed that you commented that although you knew that it was included in his 3rd war biography, Mussolini, His Part In My Downfall, Spike didn't actually write it, if I recall correctly from when I read it, he came across it in a 1943 edition of a British Forces magazine, -still in circulation when I was serving in Army in late 70's early 80's- The Union Jack, liked it so much (too) so cribbed it!
Post a Comment
<< Home