Pub Quotes

My local pub, which is very good, have decided to promote intellectual discussion amongst their patrons by writing up random quotes on the walls around the pub.

Some of them come from such famous people as Benjamin Franklin:
"Beer is the proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"

However the obscure quote award goes to the following:
"To fly as fast as thought, you must begin by already knowing you have arrived."
Now the question is whether this is truly profound, and simply operates at far too high a level for me and the rabble I drag to the pub with me, or is it simply stupid? I just don't know...

The Corridors of Power, MK1

General: Leaps tall buildings with a single bound. More powerful than a steam engine, faster than a speeding bullet. Gives policy to GOD.

Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a single bound. More powerful than a shunting engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water (if the sea is calm). Talks with GOD.

Lt.-Colonel: Leaps short buildings with a running start in favourable winds. Is almost as powerful as a speeding bullet. Walks on water in indoor swimming pools. Talks with GOD if special request is approved.

Major: Barely clears a Nissen hut. Loses tug-of-war with a steam engine. Can fire a speeding bullet and swims well. Is occasionally addressed by GOD.

Captain: Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings. Is run over by trains. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury. Dog paddles, talks to animals.

Lieutenant: Runs into tall buildings. Recognises trains two out of three times. Is not issued with ammunition. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a lifejacket. Talks to walls.

2nd Lieutenant: Falls over doorsteps while trying to enter buildings. Says, "Look at Choo Choo." Is NEVER issued with a gun or ammunition. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself.

Sgt. Major: Lifts tall buildings and walks under them. Kicks steam trains off the tracks. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance . . . HE IS GOD!

Sorry it's long, but it makes me laugh a lot. It's also part of a continuing Spike Milligan tribute, a very funny man, even if he didn't actually write this himself, I found it one of his books.

War and Peace

Hear the words I sing,
War's a horrid thing,
But still I sing, sing, sing,
Ding a ling a ling.
by Private S Baldrick

Joan of Arc
Got up in the dark
And put her foot in the Po
Oh bugger she said
Connecting with the bed
Dislocating her big toe
How can I lead France
When I lead such a dance?
Her tears were beginning to flow
To hell with le Brits
They're all a lot of shits
So now we'll give them a go
So she led the French Army
Half of whom were barmy
Then a terrible blow
How was she to know
The Brits beat the frogs
Who got stuck in the bogs
Joan's end was dire
The Brits set her on fire
by Spike Milligan

Thinking about the future.

Last weekend was a reality check. Houseparty was great, good time to hang out with people old and new, to learn stuff, a great opportunity to do a seminar on a subject i really enjoy, and a chance to think about how God guides, and the future.

Pete Roberts (thanks Pete) recommended Guidance and the voice of God, which has been good and very helpful, with incredibly short chapters. It's got me thinking about what is important, and what's not, and started me questioning (again) where I'm going in life. So far my thinking is this:Work is something that we're commanded to do, but the Bible does not tell us specifically what job we should do. I have freedom to make a (hopefully) wise decision about what I will do for a job. And so now I'm giving serious consideration and actively looking for full-time ministry jobs. It has been a helpful thing though, because it's got me thinking about what is important. I love living in Liverpool because I have a lot of good friends here, I really enjoy being part of the Tab. On the other hand it'd be nice to live somewhere that I could visit my family just for a day, I'm conscious that my nieces are growing fast and it'd be nice to have more family time, especially as I'd like to move overseas sometime.

And so there it is... today KC decided to help me plan my life with a game called MASH, which was most helpful, if not a little scary, and I've been left with a desire to buy a walrus.